Somewhere on the Highway
by snoozin81
Summary: He wants her back but can she let down her guard enough to let him back in. Will she be able to forgive the things he's done in the past?
1. A Plan Put into Motion

Chapter One  
A Plan Put into Motion

Jay twisted the oil cap back on and slammed the hood shut. He'd just finished changing the oil in his Honda Civic. He was bored out of his mind and had been for weeks. He'd been expelled from school, Alex had broken up with him, and his father was constantly on his case about what a loser he was. Jay needed a change of scenery; he needed to get out of Toronto, even if it were only for a few days. Sean had called inviting Jay to Wasaga Beach for a visit. Jay was hesitant at first. He hadn't told Sean about his little fling with Emma and couldn't help but wonder why she hadn't told him either. After a massive fight with his dad and the threat of military school, Jay had his answer. A trip to Wasaga Beach was just what the doctor ordered.

Jay climbed in behind the steering wheel wishing he were leaving that very moment but the second Emma had found out about the trip she'd begged and pleaded to go with him. School didn't let out for a few more days and Emma wasn't about to miss them. She'd fallen behind after the shooting and was walking a thin line between passing and failing. He couldn't help but think how awkward the two-hour drive was going to be, him and Emma alone in a car for two hours, not exactly his idea of a good time. Jay put the key into the ignition and started the car. He pulled out of the drive way and headed across town. Only one thing could make the car ride even more awkward and he couldn't believe he was going to attempt it.

"The perfect ending to a perfectly crappy day," Alex mumbled as she walked out of the mall and spotted Jay leaning against the brick wall. "What do you want?"

"Thought you might be interested in a little road trip," Jay replied as she walked right past him and headed down the sidewalk. Jay pushed his self off the wall he was leaning on and rushed to catch up to her.

"What part of 'we're over' didn't you understand?" Alex asked stopping dead in her tracks and turning around to stare at her ex boyfriend. Did he seriously think she'd go anywhere with him?

"The part where you think you can actually live without me," Jay teased, a sly smile spreading across his lips.

"Hard to believe, I know, but I try," she replied sarcastically as she started walking again. The truth was she was dying to get out of town, out of her house, out of her life. Things at home weren't all that great especially with her mother's new boyfriend. He was an even bigger jerk then the rest if that were at all possible.

"Leaving on Friday if you change your mind," Jay called after her before turning around and walking back to his car.

He was half way home when he decided that was the last place he wanted to go. Jay did a quick U turn and headed for the Ravine, his home away from home.

Alex shoved her hands deep into her pockets as she turned onto her street. She could see her house looming in the distance. The doorstep was darkened due to the blown bulb in the porch light but she knew her mother was home. She could hear the yelling three houses away and seriously thought about turning around but she couldn't think of anywhere else to go. Ellie had already moved back in with her mother, Marco had taken exams early and already left on his trip to Africa, Paige wasn't much fun with a broken leg, and Amy wasn't exactly an option anymore.

Alex walked up to the dilapidated old house with its chipping paint and broken shutters. She'd long ago accepted the fact that her family was trash. She'd grown up on the wrong side of the tracks and figured she'd die there too. Alex eased the door open hoping to make it to her room without drawing attention to herself. The last thing she needed was another bruise she'd have to explain.

Alex quickly and quietly made her way up the stairs and into her room locking the door behind her. She collapsed on her bed starring up at the crisscrossed cracks in the ceiling. She had two exams to study for and an English paper to write but she was too exhausted to move. She felt the sudden urge to rummage through the medicine cabinet for her mother's bottle of painkillers, or anti depressants, or sleeping pills, anything to take her mind off the mounting stress and depression that had been slowly building all year. However, the medicine cabinet was across the hall in the bathroom and she was far safer locked quietly away inside her bedroom.

Alex sighed as she stood up and changed into her camouflage pajamas. She turned out the light and climbed in to bed under the covers. The sudden warmth from the covers caused goosebumps to appear on her bare arms. Alex closed her eyes wishing she were a few blocks away, in a different bed, with Jay's arms wrapped around her. She hated that she needed him, hated that she still wanted him, hated that she missed him. He'd been her rock for so long. The place she went when she couldn't go home. How quickly things had changed. Alex drifted to sleep dreaming about being on the open road, far away from Toronto.

"Mom," Emma asked walking into the kitchen where her mother was washing up the dirty dinner dishes, "Can I talk to you for a second?"

"Sure, honey, what is it?" Spike Nelson asked turning around to face her daughter as she dried her hands on a dishtowel.

"I want to go see Sean," Emma replied hoping her mother wouldn't overreact.

"Well, Em, things are kind of busy at the salon right now but maybe I can get some time off in a few weeks," Spike replied.

Emma had been through a rough time with the school shooting, Sean's leaving, and the STD she'd gotten from some boy at school. Spike still wasn't sure how things had gotten so complicated, how her daughter had gotten so lost. She hated telling Emma no but there was just no way she could take time off right now.

"Actually, I was thinking more along the lines of this weekend. I've already made arrangements to get there and back. I really need to get away for a little while you know clear my head. Please, Mom, can I go?" Emma asked knowing she was going either way but preferred to go with her mother's permission.

"By yourself?" Spike asked, shocked that Emma had already made the plans and concerned about her daughter traveling alone.

"Technically, no, Sean's friend Jay's going," Emma answered hoping Snake hadn't told her mother about Jay.

"Oh, Em, I don't know..." Spike started, knowing good and well that Sean's friend Jay was the one who'd been expelled from school for bullying, the same boy that had taken advantage of her daughter's vulnerability and ended up giving her gonorrhea.

"Please, Mom! I really need to see Sean!" Emma begged, trying to keep the tears from breaking loose. Didn't her mother know how much she needed to see Sean? Didn't her mother see how hard things were for her, how much better Emma would be with a little distance from Toronto?

"Let me sleep on it," Spike replied hesitantly, "I'll let you know tomorrow."

Emma shook her head in agreement. She knew if she pushed her mother to hard the answer would be a definite no.

Emma left her mother in the kitchen as she retreated to her basement bedroom. She sat down on the edge of the bed as she scanned the room. Her eyes landed on a picture of her and Sean. It was a picture taken at her mother's wedding, a picture that brought back a rush of memories and a flood of tears. Emma closed her eyes as she lay back on the bed and said a silent prayer that her mother would say yes. Then she fell asleep dreaming of sitting on the beach with Sean.

"I thought you'd taken the week off?" Tyler asked as Sean walked into the shack where they worked.

"I am. I just came to pick up my paycheck," Sean replied, waving a white envelope in front of Tyler. They'd somehow managed to become friends when Sean had moved back to Wasaga.

"Are you coming to the pier tonight?" Tyler asked, leaning on the counter his eyes on two bikini-clad girls walking by.

"Can't, I've got to get ready for this weekend," Sean replied, folding the envelope and sticking it in his back pocket.

His parents had gone to Alberta to visit Tracker leaving Sean the house to him. Emma and Jay were supposed to be coming up on Friday and Sean still had a lot to do to get ready.

"Right, the blonde's up for a visit." Tyler teased. "I thought the redhead was the girlfriend."

"She is…was…is…whatever. Emma's just a good friend." Sean replied, the words sounding false even to him. She was more than just a friend, she always had been. "Look man, I have to go. I'll talk to you later."

Sean walked out on to the beach and headed for the store. He was running down the shopping list in his head. He couldn't help but wish that it were already Friday and hope that Ellie wouldn't be too upset that she hadn't been invited. He'd tried calling her a few times to see how she was doing since she'd moved back in with her mother but she'd never returned his calls. Jay had said that as far as he knew she was doing okay, Sean just hoped it was true.


	2. Pit Stops and Soda Pop

Jay loaded his duffel bag into the trunk of the car next to his case of beer. He had started to think the day would never arrive. He was more than ready to get the trip started. He'd told Emma he'd pick her up at her house after school. She'd somehow managed to talk her parents into letting her tag along. Jay still couldn't believe Mr. Simpson had agreed. After everything that had happened last year he figured they'd never let Emma anywhere near him much less let him take her on a road trip. But Greenpeace had pulled off her magic and in less than thirty minutes the two of them would be headed to Wasaga Beach. Jay slammed the hood of the trunk and started to climb into the driver's seat when he spotted Alex walking towards him, suitcase in hand. Jay smiled, grateful that she had changed her mind.

"Told you, you couldn't live without me," Jay teased until he noticed the black eye and swollen lip. The teasing tone disappeared from his voice and was replaced with something close to concern. "What happened?"

"Save the hallmark moment, Hogart. Let's just get out of Toronto," Alex said, handing him her bag.

He watched her grimace before clutching her side and walking around the car. He continued to watch as she eased herself down onto the passenger seat and pulled the car door shut.

He watched her until she asked, "Are we going or what?"

He added her bag to the trunk before climbing into the drivers seat and pulling out of the driveway.

"We've got to pick up one more," Jay said when they were a few blocks away from his house.

"Who?" she asked, shooting him a confused look. He hadn't mentioned anyone else going and Ellie hadn't mentioned going out of town.

"Greenpeace," he answered.

Alex couldn't control the urge to gag. It was safe to say that she and Emma weren't friends. They'd never gotten along and she was pretty sure they never would. Not to mention Alex felt a pang of guilt for Ellie. Did Ellie know Emma was going to see Sean? Was Ellie even invited to join this little road trip? Alex felt anger wash over her. How was she going to last two hours in a car with Nature Freak? She slouched down in the seat further biting back the pain that shot through her side before asking, "Whose idea was that?"

"It certainly wasn't mine," Jay replied, keeping his eyes on the road so Alex wouldn't be able to read the guilt on his face. He wasn't sure how Alex had remained in the dark about his fling with Emma but he was definitely grateful she hadn't found out.

"Unbelievable," Alex muttered. "What about Ellie? Was she invited?"

"How the hell should I know?" Jay replied, glad her anger was geared towards Sean and not towards him. "I didn't plan this little party. I'm just the taxi driver."

The car fell silent as they pulled up in front of Emma's house. There were two suitcases on the front step but no sign of the blonde. Jay shut off the car and climbed out praying Mr. Simpson wouldn't answer the door. As he reached the front steps the door opened and Emma walked out followed by Manny. Jay cringed as he realized who the second suitcase belonged to.

"I hope you don't mind," Emma sad with a weak smile, "My mom wouldn't agree to let me go unless Manny went too."

Jay rolled his eyes annoyed at the last minute addition to the carpool but he didn't argue. He simply bent down and picked up the two suitcases and carried them to the car. Jay waited by the car as Emma said goodbye to her parents. He ignored the glares Mr. Simpson was shooting his way by flipping up the seat and pretending to be cleaning out the car.

Alex pushed on the pair of Oakley's that Jay had stolen for her birthday and rolled her eyes as Emma and Manny climbed into the car. She couldn't help but wonder if a two hour trip with Nelson and Santos was really the answer to her problems or the start of even more. She waited until Jay climbed in beside her before asking, "Can we go now?"

Jay ignored the question as he started the car and pulled away from the curb as the car fell silent. Jay reached down and turned on the radio. He turned the volume down from its normal ear numbing range to one that wouldn't cause Emma and Manny to go deaf but left it on the rock station he'd been listening to the night before. Jay tapped along to the beat on the steering wheel as Alex starred out the window and Emma and Manny chatted quietly in the backseat as they flipped through some fashion magazine. The road trip was under way and Jay wondered if it could get any weirder.

"Could you puh-lease turn this crap off?" Manny whined from the backseat about thirty minutes later. "I seriously think my ears are about to bleed."

"Not Britney enough for you?" Alex asked sarcastically turning slightly to look at the annoying girl in the backseat.

Jay snickered but kept his mouth shut. The next few days were going to be interesting if nothing else. He looked in his rearview mirror and made eye contact with Emma. She smiled meekly, then turned away. Jay looked down at the gas gauge, noticing he'd forgotten to stop for gas before going to the Ravine last night. He turned on his blinker and pulled into the closest gas station.

"Oh, thank God!" Manny cried over dramatically as Jay flipped the seat back and she climbed out. "My bladder was about to explode."

"That'll go great with your bleeding ears," Alex mumbled as she climbed out and flipped her own seat up so Emma could get out.

"Wow, Alex, who knew you had a sense of humor?" Manny replied, glaring at Alex across the car.

"Manny!" Emma hissed, trying to stop the scene that was about to happen.

Manny plastered a fake smile on as she rounded the car and linked arms with Emma. The two disappeared into the store, leaving Alex and Jay alone outside. Jay unscrewed the gas cap and started pumping the gas as Alex walked around to join him.

"Can I have the keys?" she asked, holding out her hand, "I need to get something out of my bag."

He pulled out his keys and handed them to her before teasing, "Just don't drive away and leave me here with those two."

"Don't tempt me," she replied and he wasn't too sure if she was serious or just joking.

Alex popped the trunk and dug around in her bag. She pulled out a prescription bottle and put it into her pocket before slamming the trunk down. She tossed Jay his keys before heading into the gas station.

"Wow, I'm so glad I let you talk me into this," Manny said sarcastically as she and Emma scanned the chip rack.

"What exactly would you have been doing instead, hanging out with Toby or maybe playing third wheel to JT and Liberty?" Emma asked, picking up a bag of BBQ chips.

"Good point," Manny agreed, picking up a bag of plain chips and causing both girls to laugh. "Does Alex know about you and Jay?"

"No!" Emma answered a little louder then she'd meant to. "And I'd rather her not find out while I'm stuck in a car with her."

"Don't worry, Em, my lips are sealed," Manny said, pretending to lock her lips then tossing the imaginary key over her shoulder. She opened up the pop cooler next to her and grabbed two bottles of water and handed one of them to Emma before adding, "It's not like they could hear me over that crappy music anyway."

Emma laughed as she followed Manny to the checkout counter where Jay had just finished paying for gas. She looked around but didn't see any sign of Alex. She figured she must be in the bathroom.

"We'll meet you outside," Jay told them. He handed them a bag with a couple bottles of pop and some snacks before turning around and heading towards the bathrooms.

Alex flushed the toilet and exited the tiny stall. She stood in front of the mirror starring at the bruise that surrounded her eye. Her mom's boyfriend had gone ballistic last night, breaking down Alex's bedroom door and slamming her into the wall. She'd been scared, more scared then she'd ever been before. It had been the sign she'd been looking for to change her mind about the road trip. Alex splashed some cold water on her face before gently patting it dry with a paper towel. She stood up clenching her jaw against the pain in her ribs from where he'd kicked her. She let out the breath she'd been holding before reaching into her pocket and pulling out the bottle of painkillers with her mother's name on them. She popped one pill into her mouth and then with a hand full of water swallowed it down. One last look in the mirror and she pocketed the pain killers and headed out of the bathroom.

"Jesus, Jay give me a freaking heart attack, why don't you?" Alex said, jumping slightly at the sight of Jay leaning against the wall right out side the bathroom.

"Just making sure you're alright, sweetheart," he teased as he reached and gently touched her cheek.

"Don't touch me," Alex replied, slapping Jay's hand away and returning her sunglasses to their rightful place.

Jay laughed as she pushed past him. It was funny how they'd fallen right back into the pattern of sarcastic banter and witty insults. He loved harassing her and he loved her sarcastic comebacks and quick witted responses. It was like old times without the sex.

"Emma and Manny are waiting in the car," he said, catching up to her as she headed for the door.

"Joy," she mumbled sarcastically as she pushed the door open and stepped out into the sun light.

Jay opened the driver's side door but before climbing in, he leveled Manny and Emma with a look and warned, "Spill anything in my car and die."

"It's just water, Jay. I don't think it'll hurt anything," Emma said sliding off her flip flops off and tucking her legs underneath her.

"Spill anything in my car and die," Jay repeated, causing Alex to snicker and Emma to roll her eyes. He finally climbed in behind the steering wheel and buckled his seat belt. The second the car turned on, it was filled with annoying pop music causing both Jay and Alex to groan. Jay turned off the radio and turned around in his seat to look at Emma and Manny. "Rule number one, don't touch the radio."

Manny smiled wickedly before replying, "I thought rule number one was not to spill anything in your car."

The car erupted into laughter from all three girls. Jay sighed as he put the car in drive and mumbled, "Great, I'm stuck in a car with a bunch of fing comedians."

Alex snickered as she reached over and ejected Manny's CD. She thought about tossing it out the window but instead handed it back to the teen queen.

"Uh, oh," Manny sang out, taking the CD from Alex's hand and putting it in her hot pink CD case. "You just broke rule number one." Then she looked at Emma and asked, "Or was it rule number two?"

"Better than breaking your face," Alex replied, leveling Manny with a look.

Manny slouched back in her seat, pouting slightly as Alex popped in her own CD. It was something Ellie had made for her, a mix of hot new releases and Downtown Sasquatch's newer stuff. It wasn't Jay's loud obnoxious music and it most definitely wasn't Manny's pop crap. She turned the volume up slightly as she rolled down her window to let the warm air in.

"Is that Craig?" Emma asked as the first song began to play.

"Yeah," Alex replied as she propped her feet up on the dashboard and ignored the angry look Jay shot her. "It's his band's new song courtesy of Ellie."

"Not bad," Emma said, leaning up between the two front seats. "Can you turn it up some more?"

Alex reached for the volume knob and turned it up even more as she began to tap her foot against the dashboard. She never thought she'd agree with Cause Girl about anything but even she had to admit the song was good.


	3. Bruise the Ego

Jay watched out of the corner of his eye as Alex shifted uncomfortably in her seat. The pain pill was starting to wear off and her bruised ribs were making it hard for her to sit in one position for too long. The car was relatively quiet and had been for a while.

"Are we almost there?" Alex asked, finally settling on a position that eased the pain slightly.

Jay nodded, taking his eyes off the road long enough to look at his ex and ask, "You okay?"

She scoffed, turning her head to look out the window so he couldn't see the pain flashing through her brown eyes. They'd been through the same song and dance before, too many times to count. This time there was one thing different. This time they weren't together.

Jay bit his tongue and sat back trying to find a position where Manny's knees weren't pressing into his back. She'd fallen asleep about an hour ago and was still snoring softly. Her legs bent up against the back of his seat leaving him with one hell of a kink.

He looked up in the rearview mirror; Emma was literally on the edge of her seat. She'd been getting more and more restless the closer they got to Wasaga. Her eyes were glued to the window as she nervously tucked a stand of hair behind her ear and silently counted down the exits, 362, 361, 360…

Jay veered the car on to the exit ramp and weaved through the vaguely familiar streets that would lead him to Sean's house. Emma gently shook Manny to wake her up and Alex, once again, shifted uncomfortably in her seat. A few minutes later, Jay was stopping the car in front of Sean's trailer.

"Sean lives here?" Manny asked, her voice laced with shock and disgust.

Alex and Jay exchanged an annoyed look as they climbed out of the car and flipped the seats up to let the other two girls out. Jay led the way up the steps to the door.

"Anyone home?" He asked, not bothering to knock as he pulled the door open and stepped into the dimly lit living room.

"It's about time you got here!" Sean said, shaking his friends hand before pulling him in to a brotherly hug.

"You try driving two hours with a car full of chicks." Jay replied, stepping further into the tiny room.

"Bathroom?" Alex asked, cutting off the boy's laughter and sliding her sunglasses up on top of her head.

Sean pointed to the hallway off to the side and added, "Last door on the left."

They all watched quietly as Alex headed down the hallway. Once she'd disappeared into the bathroom, Sean turned towards Jay with a questioning look. Jay simply shrugged his shoulders before following Alex's footsteps down the hallway.

Sean turned back to Emma and Manny, "Glad you guys could come. I wasn't really sure your parents would let you."

00

Jay tapped on the bathroom door but didn't wait for one of Alex's sarcastic comments before pushing the door open and walking in. She glared up at him as she cupped a handful of water and swallowed the pill she'd already popped into her mouth.

"How bad is it?" Jay asked, shutting the door behind him.

Alex lifted up the side of her shirt, revealing the black, blue, and yellow bruise across her rib cage. Jay let out a low whistle and took a step closer, but Alex quickly pulled her shirt back down and backed away.

"Lexie," Jay sighed as he pulled himself up onto the counter and looked down at his feet.

"I'm fine," she shot back as she crossed her arms defiantly and leaned back against the wall.

"You're not fine," Jay said, looking back up at her. He pointed to the bruise and added, "That's not fine."

Alex rolled her eyes, "It's nothing I haven't dealt with before."

"You're mom's boyfriend?" Jay asked, already knowing the answer.

Alex nodded, "The latest in the revolving line of losers." She gave Jay a pointed look before adding, "They lie, they cheat, they steal... I guess that's something my mom and I have in common."

"That's not funny, Alex." Jay replied defensively, clenching his jaw against the flash of anger and regret that shot through him.

"It wasn't supposed to be." she replied.

"I said I'm sorry, okay? What more do you want from me?" Jay asked, his voice rising in anger. "It's not like things were all that great between us anyway."

"That's my fault, right? I mean, god forbid Alex get a life that doesn't revolve around her boyfriend." She shot back.

Jay was silent. There wasn't anything to say. He'd screwed up. It was his fault and his fault alone. Normally he'd push the blame on someone else but this time there was no one else to blame.

"I'm sorry," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. He looked her straight in the eyes and with a deep breath repeated, "I'm sorry."

"So am I," she said, stepping in front of him and reaching for the door.

Jay reached out and gently grabbed her arm, "Alex."

"Don't, Jay." she said before opening the door and walking out of the small bathroom.

00

"Come on in," Sean said stepping back and motioning for the girls to move out of the doorway.

Manny and Emma made their way into the living room, sitting down next to each other on the worn out, old couch. Emma tried to get her nerves under control. She was afraid this whole thing would turn out to be a dream, that any eye contact with Sean would find her staring up at the basement ceiling, in her bed at home, alone.

"So, Sean," Manny said breaking the awkward silence that had fallen over the group. "What have you been up to?"

"Not a whole lot. School, work, the occasional bonfire, that's about it." Sean replied, his eyes still watching Emma as she fidgeted on the sofa. "What about you guys? Anything interesting going on back in Toronto?"

"Interesting? Not so much." Emma replied, her voice low and unsure of itself. Sean couldn't help but think that this wasn't the Emma he remembered.

Sean opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted by loud voices drifting into the living room from down the hallway. He was used to Jay and Alex's little spats. He knew it wouldn't last long and before the night was over they'd be holed up in some dark corner or room half naked and in heavy make out mode. He looked back over at Emma and Manny, the look on both of their faces telling him maybe more had changed then he was aware of.

"Someone want to tell me what's going on?" He asked. But before anyone could respond, Alex appeared in the room.

"What?" she asked when all eyes turned towards her. But she didn't wait around for an answer. Just as quickly as she'd appeared she disappeared out the front door, letting it slam shut behind her.

"They broke up," Manny said, cutting through the silence. "A couple months ago."

Sean was shocked. Sure, they fought, they argued, they yelled and screamed, but that's what they did and after they'd always kiss and make up. He'd only been gone for a few months. How could everything and everyone change so much? Sean looked up at Manny and asked, "Why?"

She shrugged but he could tell she knew the reason. He turned his attention to Emma who looked so small, so fragile, and so ready to break at any second. If Emma and Jay's lives had gotten so screwed up, what was happening to everyone else he cared about?

Jay walked into the room trying to hide the complete exhaustion he was feeling. Emotion was not his friend. He forced a smirk before asking, "What'd I miss?"

"Just a bunch of small talk." Sean replied. "I don't know about you guys but I'm getting hungry. Should we order pizza or something?"

"Pizza sounds good," Manny replied with a smile.

Jay shrugged, "Whatever. I'm going to get the bags from the car."

"I'm going to use the bathroom." Manny said as she stood up. She could feel Emma's pleading eyes on her back as she made her way out of the room. Sink or swim, Manny thought, Emma had to face Sean on her own.

"Still strictly cheese?" Sean asked as he reached for the phone.

Emma nodded with a smile. He still remembered the way she ordered her pizza. It was comforting in a way that very little had been lately. She waited for him to hang up before finally looking him in the eyes and saying, "I've missed you, Sean. A lot."

00

Jay lifted each suitcase out of the trunk, sitting them down on the ground by his feet. He felt the on set of a slight headache at the base of his neck but tried to ignore it. So far awkward didn't even begin to describe this little getaway. He was concerned about Alex, worried that Emma would spill the beans to Sean, and annoyed with Manny in general. He lifted the cardboard tab on the case of beer and pulled one of the cans out. He popped the top and tilted the can to his lips, letting the warm liquid run down the back of his throat. He hated the burn of warm beer and the way it didn't quite settle on his empty stomach, but if he was going to get through this first night he was going to need some kind of buzz and he was fresh out of the good stuff.

He sat down on the edge of the trunk and took another long drink. He closed his eyes savoring the peace and quiet. He ignored the nagging voice that told him he wasn't going to find any answers at the bottom of the can in his hand and that his drinking was making him more like his mother than he cared to admit. He knew he'd eventually have to face his problem unless it killed him first.

"Getting st faced isn't going to make Santos any less annoying," Alex said sarcastically, breaking into his thoughts. She sat down next to him, her arm slightly touching his.

"And those pain pills you're popping won't make the bruises go away," Jay replied reaching behind him and pulling out another can. He offered it to her but she declined.

Jay finished off the can he'd already started. Once it was empty he tossed it into the trunk and opened the new one. He could feel Alex watching him from the corner of her eye. She knew him better than anyone and he had to admit that scared the hell out of him. He started to take another drink when she reached over and took the can from his hand. He watched silently as she tilted the can and let the liquid run out and splash onto the ground.

"What the hell did you do that for?" he asked, but his voice sounded more weary than angry. He just didn't have the energy to fight with her at the moment.

"You know why," she replied, standing up and kicking at a rock by her foot.

She was right. He knew why. She'd been the only person by his side while his mother's drinking had ripped his family apart. It was her bedroom window he'd climb in through, her bedroom floor he'd crash on when his parents were yelling so loud the cops got called.

He snickered and with a sly smile teased, "Because deep down you're still madly in love with me."

Alex rolled her eyes. "You wish," She replied but Jay could sense that he wasn't too far from the truth.

I missed you too, Em." Sean replied as he reached out for her hand and pulled her close. He wrapped his arms around her, breathing in her familiar scent of dove soap and wild berry body spray.

It was the first time, Sean had admitted it to himself, his feelings for Emma had never really gone away. Sure, he cared about Ellie and a part of him had even loved her to some extent. But it was true what they said about the first love never really going away. There was a place somewhere inside of Sean that would never be able to let go of a certain blonde headed environmentalist no matter how far away from Toronto he ventured.

He pulled back slightly, looking her straight in the eye and despite all the sorrow and pain that clouded them over he could see a very familiar sparkle. Without even thinking he leaned in and kissed her and she kissed him back.

00

Manny paced the small bathroom, four steps from the shower to the door. She looked at her reflection in the grimy mirror as she tried her best not to touch anything. She was bored out of her mind. It took everything she had not to head back to the living room. Her nosy side wanted to know what was going on. There was no mistaking that Emma had missed Sean since the grade nine break up. There was no mistaking that Emma had been jealous as hell when Sean had started dating Ellie, even if she'd refused to admit it, and there was definitely no mistaking that Emma had been devastated when Sean had decided Wasaga Beach was the place he needed to be.

Manny knew how much her best friend needed this, needed to see Sean. She couldn't help but feel slightly jealous and despite her best efforts, an image of Craig floated through her mind. She sighed and shook it away. She refused to think of Craig, to miss him. She'd made up her mind that she was moving on and she wasn't going to let a little hint of jealousy mess up her plans.

Manny paced for a few more minutes, then with one last look in the mirror she opened the door and headed back out into the living room. She stopped in her tracks at the sight of Emma and Sean kissing. She couldn't control the smile spreading across her lips. She thought about retreating back down the hallway but instead she took another step into the living room and cleared her throat.

"Sorry," she muttered as Sean and Emma pulled a part and looked in her direction.

Emma's cheeks turned a light pink as she quickly took a step away from Sean. She laughed awkwardly in an attempt to break the silence, "Pizza should be here soon."

"Good, because I'm starving." Manny said as she slumped down on the couch.

"You're not the only one," Jay added as he stepped in through the front door, suitcases in both hands and duffle bags thrown across his shoulder.

"Here," Sean said, moving toward his friend and taking one of the suitcases from his hand.

"My knight in shining armor," Jay joked as he dropped the rest of the luggage on the floor beside him.

"Pizza's here," Alex added, stepping around Jay and into the living room. She walked over to the beat up recliner and plopped down, picking up a car magazine off the table beside it.


	4. Flirtations and Conversations

Sean handed Emma the pizza boxes then paid the delivery guy. He fought the urge to smack the pimply faced teen upside the head as the boy's green eyes scanned Emma from head to toe, lingering a little too long on the blonde's tee shirt pulled tight across her chest.

"She really is as flat as a board, huh?" Alex's words floated back to him. Sean's eyes traveled from the delivery boy to Emma. Somehow the statement didn't quite fit anymore. He shut the door as Emma disappeared into the kitchen with the pizza boxes.

"Plates?" She called out from the other room.

"Paper plates are in the cabinet beside the sink," Sean replied as he headed into the kitchen after her. Then as an after thought, he called back over his shoulder to the rest of the group, "I thought you guys were hungry? The food's not going to serve itself."

00

Alex walked into the kitchen, gently nudging Jay back and stepping in front of him. "Ever heard of ladies first?" she asked, taking the plate that Sean was offering.

"Ladies? I don't see any ladies." Jay teased.

Alex rolled her eyes before playfully elbowing him in the stomach. She picked a pepperoni off the pizza and popped it into her mouth before handing him the plate.

"What the hell?" he huffed, taking the plate from her hand.

Alex picked up one of the pop cans sitting beside her and handed it to Jay, "You don't like them anyway."

"Doesn't mean I want your grubby little fingers all over my pizza," he replied as he side-stepped Manny and headed for the doorway. "How am I supposed to know where your fingers have been?"

Alex laughed as she ignored the curious glances Manny, Emma, and Sean were shooting her way. She quickly grabbed another can of pop and another plate before following Jay back into the living room.

Alex sat down on the arm of the recliner where Jay had already made himself comfortable. She swung her legs around letting them tangle with his. They could both sense the awkwardness but chose to ignore it. She watched him out of the corner of her eye as he picked the pepperonis off both slices of pizza then reached over and placed them on her plate.

It had been their second date...or maybe it was the third...when the routine had started, a movie night at his house since his parents were out for the night. They'd ordered pizza, a large pepperoni and sausage with extra cheese.

"Why didn't you just get half without the pepperonis?" she had asked when he started to deface the pizza by picking off the best part.

He'd simply shrugged then asked her if she wanted them. Now, four years and a messy break up later they'd fallen right back into the same routine.

Alex finished off her first slice of pizza leaving only the crust, which she handed to Jay. He smirked up at her, his blue eyes shining from the same memory she'd just been reliving. Alex nudged him playfully with her shoulder before reaching for her pop can and taking a drink.

00

"What was that?" Manny asked, still watching the doorway where Alex and Jay had disappeared back into the living room.

"Looked like flirting to me." Emma replied with a faint smile.

Sean laughed a little. He'd seen it more than anyone. The way Jay and Alex were when they were away from the Degrassi crowd, the softer side of both of them. People just assumed they didn't care about anything other than themselves but the truth was that they cared about each other.

"So, what exactly happened anyway?" he asked, trying to wrap his head around the breakup. "I thought for sure those two were destined."

"Destined for jail maybe." Manny started, catching the warning look Emma shot her way. She ignored it as she continued, "Or America's Most Wanted. The short version. He cheated, she found out."

Sean let out a low whistle, sure Jay talked a big game but anyone who bothered to get to know him knew that's all it was, talk. He just found it hard to believe Jay would cheat on Alex.

"With who?" he asked. 

He'd have had to be blind not to see the look that passed between Emma and Manny. A mixture of panic and pain of reassurance and trust, it caused the hair on the back of his neck to stand up. 

Sean clenched his jaw and asked again, "With who?" 

"Funny you should ask." Manny said with an uneasy chuckle. She noted the panic on her best friends face and felt a little hurt. Did Emma really think she would blast her little secret to Sean? "You remember Amy, don't you?"

"Are you serious?" Sean asked, relaxing slightly. "Amy and Jay?"

"Yep, scandalous, right? It was quite the spectacle." Manny explained. 

Emma let out the breath she'd been holding, "Why don't we change the subject? This conversation is making me lose my appetite."

"Good idea." Sean agreed giving her a reassuring smile. He picked up his plate and a pop before nodding towards the door and asking, "Shall we?"

00

"Man you should have been there." Jay said a few hours later when they were all lounging around the living room. He'd just finished telling a story about a party he'd been to that got so out of hand that the cops were called and a fire was started. "It was a killer good time."

"Yeah, sounds like a load of fun." Emma replied sarcastically from her spot on the floor.

"Like you'd know anything about fun." Alex snorted.

Emma uncontrollably looked at Jay as red started creeping up her neck. She quickly looked away as he started to smirk. Fun? Not exactly what she'd call her little fling with Jay. Closure, comfort, curiosity, probably some other C words she couldn't think of at the moment, but fun was definitely not one of them.

"You were wasted?" Sean asked. "Please tell me you didn't drive yourself home." 

"Honestly man, I have no idea how I got home." Jay replied with a snicker.

Alex rolled her eyes and looked down at her Vans. She knew exactly how he'd gotten home. Towerz had called, waking her up at two o'clock in the morning mumbling something about Jay…drunk…cops. She'd taken the last bus across town to pick his sorry ass up despite the fact he'd cheated on her, despite the fact they'd broken up. He'd hurled on her brand new Vans, the ones she'd only worn once, while she was trying to get him to hand over the keys. Needless to say she wasn't at all upset the next day when he didn't remember her part in his getting home. 

Emma yawned, drawing everyone's attention away from the story. She looked over at her best friend who was curled up on the couch, snoring softly. Then she looked up at the clock on the VCR. It was well past midnight and she was exhausted. Maybe tonight she'd actually get some sleep. Maybe tonight she wouldn't have the nightmares.

"You guys must be exhausted." Sean said, his gaze on Emma. "Long drive and all."

"As long as I'm not sharing a bed with you I'll sleep like a rock." Jay teased. 

Alex smirked, "Good. Then you can sleep in the car." 

"Ha, ha." Jay replied sarcastically. "So Cameron, where do you want us?"

"Well before I knew about the break up I figured you guys would take my parents room and Emma and Manny could have mine. But now…." Sean trailed off, looking over at Manny. 

"Good luck." Emma laughed. "Once she's out there's no waking her up."

"Its fine." Alex offered. "Jay can sleep on the floor."

Jay shot Alex an annoyed look, "Gee thanks."

Emma stood up and grabbed the blanket off the back of the couch laying it over Manny before following Sean and the others out of the living room.

00

Jay tossed the covers back on the king size bed in Sean's parent's room. He sat down on the edge and started to take his shoes off.

"What do you think you're doing?" Alex asked, shutting the door. 

"What does it look like I'm doing?" Jay shot back. He was beyond tired from the drive. His only thought was sleep.

"It looks like you forgot where you're sleeping." she replied, reaching across him and grabbing the pillow beside him. She tossed it on the floor beside the bed before walking around to the other side. 

Jay let out an aggravated breath, "You're serious?" 

"As a heart attack." Alex replied, leveling him with a dead serious glare.

Jay rolled his eyes and shook his head. He wasn't in the mood for an argument but the thought of sleeping on the floor wasn't all that appealing. He glanced down at the pillow then back at Alex.

"It's not like we've never slept in the same bed before. Afraid you won't be able to keep your hands off of me?" Jay snickered.

"Try afraid I'll kill you in your sleep." She shot back in irritation.

Jay thought about if for a moment then shrugged, "I'm willing to risk it."

"Yeah, well I'm not." Alex replied, losing her patience. "One of us is sleeping on the floor. You decide."

Was she serious? He cocked an eyebrow in curiosity as he watched her bend down and pull out the bottle of pain pills. She gritted her teeth as she stood back up and twisted the cap off. Could he really make her sleep on the floor in her current condition? No.

Jay sighed and stood up. He pulled off his shirt and lowered himself to the floor pulling one of the blankets off the bed to cover him up. He was annoyed but at this point it was probably better just to let it slide.

"Night," he mumbled, rolling over and closing his eyes.

Alex bit her lip against the pain as she climbed into bed and reached over to turn off the bedside lamp. She was too tired to gloat about her win, too tired to rub it in Jay's face. She lay there staring up at the ceiling and despite the pure exhaustion, she couldn't fall asleep.

00

"You want top or bottom?" Sean asked, shutting the door behind them.

"Huh?" Emma asked, turning around a little shocked.

"The bunk beds." Sean explained, pointing towards the beds. "Tracker always liked the bottom one. I think he was afraid of the long drop if he fell out."

Emma chuckled at the thought of Tracker being afraid of the top bunk or maybe it was the image of him falling off and hitting the floor. "Bottom's good."

After a few seconds of awkward silence Sean cleared his throat, "I really did miss you, Em. I wanted to call, to come back but…I just couldn't do it."

Emma nodded. She understood completely. There were still nights she'd make up in a cold sweat from nightmares of that day, of Rick, of the gun. She knew why Sean had left, why he needed to be with his parents, away from Degrassi, away from her.

Emma sat down on the edge of the bed, her eyes down cast as she fidgeted with her own fingers. Sitting there in Sean's room, the smell of him was almost over powering. It dredged up a million memories most of which made her smile.

"Do you think you'll ever come back?" she asked, keeping her eyes fixed on the floor. Her voice caught in her throat but she forced the words out. She feared the answer but she needed to know.

"I don't know." he replied softly. The bed gave under his weight as his shoulder softly bumped hers. "I still see it, you know, when I close my eyes, the hallway, the gun. I'm just not sure I can face that again." 

Emma nodded, trying her hardest to hold back the tears that were fighting to get out. She knew what he was talking about because she'd felt the same way. Every time she'd have to go down that hallway she'd be right back there, watching the scene unfold all over again. Living through it once was bad enough but living through it every day was torture.

Emma swallowed the lump in her throat, "We should try and get some sleep."

"Emma?" Sean asked, reaching over and taking her hand in his. "I'm sorry." 

Emma forced another fake smile. She was getting pretty good at it, "Its okay. I understand."

Sean leaned over and kissed her gently on the cheek before turning off the light and climbing into the top bunk. He stared up at the ceiling but instead of the bubbled up plaster he saw Emma's brown eyes swimming with tears.


	5. Pink Plastic Bucket

Alex turned her head to stare at the glowing numbers on the alarm clock. She'd been lying there awake for over an hour and half. She could tell from Jay's breathing that he hadn't fallen asleep yet either. She let out a sigh and shifted to the edge of the bed so she could look down at him.

"Hey," she whispered. "Are you asleep?"

He grunted and shifted so that he was lying on his back looking up at her, "I would be if I hadn't been forced to sleep on the floor." 

Alex rolled her eyes despite the fact that he couldn't see them, "Maybe you should have invited Amy instead."

Jay was glad it was dark in the room as he clenched his jaw against the stab of regret that her words caused. He fcked up, as usual, and she wasn't letting him off the hook. He'd apologized more than once and didn't know what else to do.

"Don't." he said sternly, closing his eyes against the throb at the back of his head. 

An awkward silence fell between them as they both thought of a million words unspoken and a million feeling unshared. They weren't the type, they never had been. It was easier, safer to keep it all inside. Granted you were bound to explode once in a while but it was better than being emotionally drained all the time.

Alex shifted back to the other side of the bed before breaking the silence. "If you promise to keep your hands to your self you can have half the bed."

Jay quickly stood up and climbed in under the covers before she could change her mind. He slipped the pillow under his head and turned slightly to look at the spot where Alex was laying.

"I feel one finger tip touch me and you're losing the whole hand." Alex threatened.

Jay laughed before replying, "Same goes for you."

00

Manny yawned and rolled over, causing her body to tumble onto the floor. It took her a few minutes to realize where she was. She pushed her self up and looked around the tiny living room. A familiar smell and the sound of laughter drifted in from the kitchen.

Manny quickly stood up and walked towards the smell. She stopped in the doorway to watch Alex playfully smack Jay with a spatula. She leaned against the doorframe and yawned, drawing Jay and Alex's attention away from the stove.

"Well, well, looks like sleeping beauty decided to rise from the dead." Jay smirked.

"You're awful cheerful for nine o'clock in the morning." Manny replied, walking further in to the kitchen. She grabbed a piece of bacon from the plate by the stove then pulled herself up on the counter. "Did you poison it?"

"Only yours." Alex replied with a serious tone.

Manny simply shrugged and took a bite of the bacon, "Not bad."

"Not everyone has parents that fix them breakfast every morning. Some people actually have to fend for themselves." Alex said over her shoulder as she flipped the bacon still popping in the skillet.

Manny rolled her eyes at the other girl's sarcasm as she finished her slice of bacon. She watched Jay and Alex for a minute. You could cut the sexual tension between those two with a knife. She wondered if that's how it had been between Craig and Ashley when they were trying to work things out. A pang of jealousy shot through her stomach at the thought of Craig. She missed him a lot.

"Good morning." Sean said, walking into the kitchen with Emma behind him.

"Morning." Everyone muttered in return.

"You're cooking?" Emma asked, standing next to Manny. Her question was directed at Jay as he flipped the eggs in the skillet.

He cocked an eyebrow at her, "What? I was hungry."

Sean snickered, "He's actually not half bad with the whole cooking thing."

"I learned from the best." Jay teased, handing Alex the spatula as he stepped back and opened the fridge.

Alex scoffed, "Like it really takes a genius to fry an egg."

"If its not done in the microwave I don't want anything to do with it." Sean laughed. 

Manny nodded in agreement as she took the orange juice carton from Jay and started pouring it into glasses. She couldn't help but wonder if anyone else was thinking about how weird the little kitchen conversation was. She paused her pouring long enough to quickly glance around the kitchen. Her best friend was smiling, genuinely smiling for the first time in months. Sean was more his grade eight self. He wasn't putting up a front or trying to hide the fact that deep down inside he really was a good guy. And perhaps Jay and Alex weren't as bad as she'd thought. Maybe they were just like everyone else underneath their delinquent attitudes.

Manny smiled slightly as she went back to pouring the orange juice into the five glasses in front of her. The trip seemed like it was turning out to be a good thing for all of them.

00

Alex closed her eyes against the glare of the sun as the ocean breeze caressed her bare shoulders. Even she had to admit that being on the beach was far better than being back in Toronto. Granted her travel mates weren't exactly the ones she would have chosen but so far she couldn't complain too much.

Alex slipped her sunglasses down from on top of her head before opening her eyes. She scanned the ocean in front of her and spotted her four beach buddies as they zipped around on jet skis. She ignored the small pang of jealousy at the way Manny was clinging to Jay. It could have been her but she'd turned down the invitation. Her ribs were still hurting like crazy and being that close to Jay with things the way they were just wasn't an option.

With a sigh, Alex pulled on her earphones and turned over, resting her head in her arms. She hadn't slept well last night and had gotten up early to take another pain pill this morning. She was exhausted and figured a little catnap under the sun wouldn't hurt. She turned the volume on her CD player up a notch as some chick band Ellie had recommended started playing.

Alex was on the verge of waking up when she felt water hit her back and soak through her shirt. She jerked up ready to yell at the guilty party but the words caught in her throat as she bit back the pain coursing through her entire body. She squeezed her eyes against the yellow stars dancing in front of her and against the concern that caused Jay's eyes to change color. An exasperated cry made its way out before the pain started to subside.

"Alex?" Jay asked, kneeling down beside her so they were eye level.

"I'm fine." she replied, slowly letting out the breath she'd been holding. She could feel his hand lightly touching her arm and she could hear the concern in his voice. The tone he used very rarely and usually never in front of other people. Alex fought to hold back the moisture pooling behind her closed eyelids as she slowly took in a small breath of ocean air.

"You're not fine. Let me take you to the hospital." He suggested. "Have a real M.D. take a look at those ribs."

"I'm fine." she bit back, pulling her arm away from his hand and slowly standing up. Alex made her way past Jay and lightly bumped into Emma before heading down the beach. 

Emma watched Alex go before asking, "Is she okay?" 

"Like you care." Jay replied, turning his anger on Emma. 

She sat down beside him on the warm blanket her eyes resting on the waves in front of her, "I guess it's the Cause Girl in me."

Jay let out an aggravated chuckle, "She says she's fine."

"But you don't believe her?" Emma asked, casting Jay a side ways glance.

He shook his head no, staring into the distance where Alex had disappeared. He could still see her face etched in pain. It made him want to climb back in the car and drive the two hours back to Toronto just to kick the ass of the jerk that had hit her.

"You should go after her." Emma suggested. "Being soft isn't always a bad thing."

Jay thought about it for a minute then stood up and followed Alex's footsteps through the crowed of people. He had no idea what he was going to say or do but he had to try. God he hated it when Greenpeace actually made sense.

00

"Who is that hottie with Sean?" Manny asked, laying her magazine down and looking over at her best friend.

Emma looked over the edge of her book to see what Manny was talking about. A tall, tan, dark haired boy stood a few feet away talking to Sean. Emma smiled faintly remember the last time she'd seen those two together. It hadn't been pretty. 

"That's Tyler Bishop." she replied.

"THE Tyler Bishop?" Manny asked, cocking an eyebrow in disbelief.

Emma nodded as she watched the two boys head their way. Manny quickly fluffed her hair and positioned herself into a sexy pose. She flashed a killer smile as the two drew closer. It took everything Emma had not to laugh.

"Emma, Manny this is Tyler. Tyler, Emma and Manny." Sean introduced.

Emma offered a friendly smile while Manny held out her hand, "I was beginning to wonder where all the good looking guys were at."

Tyler's smile grew wider as he shook Manny's hand, "Well it's a pleasure to meet you. I've actually got to get back to work but there's a bonfire tonight if you guys want to come."

"Thanks, man." Sean said with a snicker as he sat down next to Emma.

Tyler turned back briefly and waved as he looked over Manny. She was cute. Not his usual type, but cute. He headed back to the rental shack hoping Sean's friend would show at the bonfire.

"What?" Manny asked, turning her attention to Sean and Emma who were staring at her.

"You're boy crazy." Emma stated with a little chuckle before casting her eyes back to her book.

Manny shrugged then rolled over on her stomach, "Not all of us can keep reverting back to Prince Charming."

Emma's face began to turn a light shade of pink as she tucked a strand of blonde hair behind her ear. She playfully smacked Manny with the book as she avoided looking at Sean. He chuckled, pulling her attention away from her friend and she offered him and embarrassed smile.

"Are you guys hungry? We could go grab a bite to eat." Sean suggested, easing the embarrassment slightly. "There's a great little burger joint just a little ways up the beach."

"Food?" Manny asked, scrunching her nose up in disgust. "I'm still stuffed from breakfast."

Sean turned his attention towards Emma, "Em?" 

Emma nodded and the two stood up and headed down the beach. Manny sighed as she pulled her hair up off her shoulders and clipped it. She sighed as she closed her eyes and mentally went over every piece of clothing sitting in her suitcase back at Sean's. She needed something to wear to the bonfire, something that would get Tyler's attention.

00

Alex sat on the warm sand and watched the people around her laugh and goof off. She tried to remember a time in her life when she was that carefree but quickly shook the memory away. A little blonde girl about six or seven was building a sand castle to the right of her. Alex smiled as the girl tilted the pink plastic bucket over and patted the bottom of the bucket with the matching shovel. A shadow fell across Alex's legs and she shielded her eyes, as she looked up at the person responsible.

"Generally when people storm away it means they don't want to be around you." Alex said as Jay sat down next to her.

"Yeah well I've never been very good at taking a hint." Jay replied with a little smirk.

Alex nodded a little before asking, "What do you want Jay?"

"World peace, a million dollars, a house in Beverly Hills…" Jay started. He paused a few seconds before taking a deep breath and adding, "You to be okay."

"I told you I'm fine." Alex replied, biting her lip against the softness in his voice.

Jay sighed as he picked up some sand and tossed it out in front of him, "You're a shtty liar."

A small smile flitted across Alex's face. She turned her head making it a point to look Jay straight in the eyes, "I'm fine, really. It's going to take a lot more than a few bruised ribs to bring me down."

"Humor me and let me take you to a doctor?" Jay asked as he reached over and brushed the hair out of her face.

"No doctors." Alex replied, shaking her head no causing the hair to fall back down. "But I'll let you take me back to Sean's. I could use a nice, long, hot shower and a nap."

"Okay." Jay agreed, standing up.

Alex slowly pushed herself up off the sand not arguing when Jay reached down to help her, "You know this good guy thing you've got going on is really making it hard for me to hate you."

Jay laughed, "I'm sure it won't last long."

Alex stiffened slightly as Jay draped his arm over her shoulder and placed a small, friendly kiss on her temple.


	6. Bonfire Mayham

"How do I look?" Manny asked striking a pose for Emma. They were locked in Sean's bedroom getting ready for the bonfire. Manny had picked out an extremely short jean skirt and a tight pink tank top that showed off way too much of her abdomen.

Emma looked her friend up and down a skeptical look paling her face. The ocean air at night had a tendency to be cold and Manny was sure going to freeze to death in that outfit.

"Um, Manny, don't you think you should ware something a little warmer?" Emma suggested carefully picking words that wouldn't upset her best friend.

Manny frowned turning back to the full-length mirror on the back of Sean's bedroom door. She'd thought the outfit she'd picked out was perfect but now that Emma had stated the obvious Manny was second-guessing herself.

"Here," Emma said offering her friend a smile and a pair of form fitting jeans. "Just throw on a pair of jeans if you get cold I'm sure some nice beach babe will offer you his sweatshirt."

Manny returned Emma's smile and laughed as she turned to the blonde and hugged her. It really was nice seeing the small glimpses of the old Emma, the friend Manny had been missing for the last few months. She could only guess that it was Sean's presence that had her friend functioning like normal that had her smiling and laughing and generally enjoying herself.

"What would I do without you Em?" Manny questioned as she changed out of the skirt and into the jeans Emma had handed her.

The girls finished getting ready and headed out to the living room where Sean, Jay, and Alex were lounging around. It had taken the boys and Alex a total of fifteen minutes to get ready unlike Emma and Manny who had used the better part of an hour to primp and dress for perfection.

Alex mentally thanked God that she wasn't like Emma and Manny. That she didn't need to spend an hour in front of the mirror trying to impress a bunch of pimply faced teens who's only thoughts were how to get her out of the clothes she'd so carefully picked out and put on. Simple, that was her and just because she was single didn't mean she had to change.

Alex watched Jay out of the corner of her eye as he slouched down into the other end of the couch, his hands in the pocket of his hooded sweatshirt, his sunglasses hiding his eyes. There'd been an almost awkwardness between them since she'd woken up from her nap.

"Everyone ready?" Sean asked interrupting Alex's thoughts.

Alex rolled her eyes at the squeal of excitement that escaped Manny's lips. The girl was practically bubbling over. She shrugged towards Sean, standing up as the group readied themselves and headed out of the trailer.

00

The beach was awash in an orangey glow from the twelve barrels that were set up, fire thrusting form the top of them. Strangers were gathered around each barrel exchanging conversations with each other. Emma felt slightly out of place as she clung to Sean's hand a nervous panic coursed through her as they made their way towards Tyler's group. She watched as Sean nodded and waved at several people Emma had never seen before. It was a strange feeling knowing these people had shared the last few months with him. It was the first time she didn't know all of his friends. She didn't know what the last few months had been like for him. A million questions were running through her mind the most prominent being, had any of these girls dated him. Had Sean shared his deepest, darkest secrets with them? Did they know about his past in Toronto? Did he share with them stories of their first date, of their first break up, of the shooting? Were these people the reason he hadn't come back home?

"You okay?" Sean asked pulling her closer and wrapping his arm around her waist. The ocean chill being chased away by the fire shooting through her body despite the fact that they were still several feet form the nearest barrel.

Emma nodded, offering up a small smile as she snuggled into Sean's arm. Suddenly all her insecurities had disappeared and the only thing that mattered was that she was there, with Sean and things were good.

"Hey man." Sean said as they stopped in front of Tyler. "You remember Emma and Manny from earlier and this is Jay and Alex."

Emma heard Jay snort but it was soft enough she doubted anyone else heard it. Jay and Alex were lagging behind, tension suffocating everything and everyone around them. She wondered what had happened after they disappeared on the beach but she didn't dare ask.

Manny was flirting beside her causing Emma's small smile to grow slightly. It was nice to know something never changed. Manny's happy-go-lucky attitude was always a constant even when Craig had broken her heart. It was Manny who could always look past the pain and see the sun shining on the other side.

Sean gently tugged Emma away from the group as they headed off down the beach. They walked along the shoreline, just the two of them. Emma had slipped her flip-flops off and was letting the water wash over her bare feet. The water was still warm from earlier and it felt good as it caused her feet to sink in the sand.

00

Manny snuggled down into the sweatshirt Tyler had offered her as she sipped on the lemonade some guy had poured her. It tasted slightly bitter and like nothing she'd ever had before but she continued to drink it, ignoring the way her head had started to tingle and her speech had started to slur.

Some girl was telling her about tourist season and how it was her favorite time of year because of all the hot strangers that washed up on the shore. The girl had mentioned her name but for the life of her Manny couldn't remember it. She scanned the crowd for Emma or Sean or even Jay and Alex for that matter but she'd been abandoned like the fifth wheel she was.

"There you are." Tyler said coming up beside her and rescuing her from the annoying brunette that was still droning on.

"Here I am." Manny hiccupped causing Tyler to laugh.

"You might want to slow down on that." Tyler suggested pointing to the plastic cup in Manny's hand.

Manny took another sip ignoring Tyler's suggesting. Somewhere in the background someone had cranked up a sound system. Manny squealed the cup in her hand sloshing and causing the liquid to spill out a little. Manny grabbed Tyler's hand and pulled him towards the music.

Tyler followed, his own buzz causing him to not notice as Manny drunkenly stumbled spilling even more of the hard lemonade. When she stopped close to the car that was cranking the music. Tyler slid his hands around her waist and pulled her closer as they swayed to the beat. Now he realized why Sean was constantly going on and on about Toronto. The chicks there were beyond gorgeous.

00

"Hey." Jay said walking up to Alex as she huddled around an abandoned fire.

"And here I thought you were ignoring me." Alex stated sarcastically as she inched away from Jay.

"Just giving you your space." He replied pulling off his sweatshirt and offering it to her. "How's the bruising?"

Alex rolled her eyes but took the sweatshirt from Jay's hands. The temperature had dropped drastically and every time Alex shivered a sharp pain shot through her. She pulled it on over her head breathing in the familiar sent of Jay.

"Its fine." She lied sitting down in the sand but staying in the circle of heat radiating from the barrel in front of her.

Jay sat down beside her so close his elbow was touching hers. He took a sip from the bottle in his hand ignoring the disapproving look Alex was shooting him. He'd let his guard down earlier on the same beach and it hadn't gotten him very far. Lexie had gone straight back to Sean's and crashed.

"What?" She asked her voice laced with irritation.

Without giving it a second thought Jay leaned over and kissed her the way he had so many times in the past, to shut her up, to turn her on, to make her forget the argument going on down the hall in her living room. It caused the fire to grow hotter or maybe it was just the pent up sexual energy they'd both been suppressing. He was surprised she didn't push him away he was even more surprised when she pulled him closer her tongue snaking its way between his dry lips. Maybe things would end up working out after all.

A voice clearing caused them to pull apart. Jay shot Sean and Emma an irritated look, "Jesus Cameron way to spoil the moment."

Sean smirked, "Next time put up a do not disturb sign."

"Funny." Alex replied letting Jay pull her up off the sand. Her brain was still fuzzy from the kiss. She hadn't realized how much she'd missed it. The way his lips tasted even with the beers he'd downed. The way his blue eyes lit up with passion as he gently nipped at her bottom lip. The way his arm was steadying her as the moved a little closer to the bonfire and the couple that had interrupted them.

"Sorry guys." Emma offered with an embarrassed smile. "But have you seen Manny?"

Alex and Jay exchanged a glance then shook their heads no. Jay opened his mouth to make a smart-ass comment about being a babysitter but was silenced by the high-pitched screech of Manny's voice.

"Emmmerrrz!" She squealed drawing the fours attention to where she was stumbling towards them.

"Manny are you drunk?" Emma hissed as she reached out an arm to catch her best friend from falling face first into the sand.

"Me?" Manny asked in shock. "Of course not. All I had to drink was some lemonade."

Emma ignored Jay's snicker as she took the plastic cup from Manny's hand and sniffed the liquid inside, "Manny there's liquor in this."

"Really?" Manny asked in confusion taking the cup back from Emma and drinking the rest of the liquid down.

"I think you've had enough." Emma offered wrapping her arm around her friend's waist in an attempt to steady her. "We should get you home."

"Are you kidding?" Manny replied pulling away from her friend. "The party's just started. I'm not going anywhere."

Manny tossed the plastic cup into the barrel and laughed as the flames jumped higher and everyone else jumped back. She swayed to the music still blasting inside her head as everyone glared at her.

"Ugh, you guys suck." She slurred. "Par-tay poopers."

Manny poked Emma and pushed her slightly. No one snickered as Manny's drunkenness finally sunk in. The girl was beyond wasted.

"Manny." Emma said but when her friend made no acknowledgement of her name she tried again a little louder, "Manny!"

"Emma." Manny said dragging out the letters and rolling her eyes. She sighed and hiccupped before adding, "You're not the only one who knows how to have a good time."

Emma froze not entirely sure where her friend was going but fearing for the worst. She silently yelled at Manny to shut up and hoped their BFF telepathy would get through to Manny.

No such luck.

Manny continued, "You're not the only one who can go to a party and hook up with losers. You're not the only one who…" Manny paused as nausea worked its way into her stomach. She swallowed back the taste of vomit, "You wouldn't listen to me when I tried to stop you from hooking up with Jay so don't lecture me on…" She was cut off again as she lurched for the sand shrub in the distance and threw up all the lemonade she'd had.

Emma's jaw hung open in shock. She could feel the anger boiling up around the bonfire. Without even looking she could see the anger flash through Sean's eyes. She could picture Alex's fists clenched at her side. She could see the fury and fear etched along Jay's jaw line. Emma turned away from the sight of her best friend heaving to lock eyes with Jay. His blue eyes danced with the flames of the fire, every muscle in his body clenched and waiting for the fall out of Manny's confession.

"You son of a bitch." Emma heard Sean growl beside her as her eyes slid from Jay to Alex who had slowly started backing away from the group. If she hadn't known any better Emma would have sworn there was a tear glistening in the spotlight of the moon as it made its way down Alex's cheek. Finally Emma looked at Sean poised for a fight as he starred down his best friend.

"Sean it wasn't his fault." Emma said trying to ease the tension and stop the scene she knew was about to happen. She placed a hand on Sean's arm only to have him jerk away from her.

Without any warning Sean lurched forward tackling Jay to the sand and punching him hard in the face. Emma tried pulling Sean off of Jay but she wasn't strong enough. Luckily the fight had drawn Tyler's attention and before she knew it he was beside her heaving Sean off of Jay.

"What is your problem?" Jay spat out pushing himself off the sand. He stumbled back almost bumping into Alex. He spit out the pool of blood that had made its way into his mouth.

"You're my problem." Sean replied his eyes locked on Jay. Sean pushed Tyler back and without even glancing at Emma he headed off down the beach towards his house.

Emma stood frozen in her spot. She willed herself to move, to follow Sean. She needed to try and explain, try and fix the mess she'd caused but the message wasn't getting to her brain. Her eyes were locked on Jay and Alex standing in front of here waiting for the rest of the backlash.

"Alex." Jay said barely above a whisper as he turned to look into her chocolate eyes.

Alex shook her head taking another step back. She mentally kicked herself for believing him, for giving him a second chance. She fought the urge to reach up and touch the little line of blood trailing down his chin. She desperately fought the urge to let lose the tears she'd been holding back for months now.

Jay took a step towards Alex stealing himself against the look of pure vulnerability that was etched across her face. He'd never seen her like that, not when it came to her mom's revolving door of boyfriends, not when Tracey Warren had shoved her into the mud puddle in grade six and called her white trash, not even when her dad had died. Jay reached out to her but she quickly back peddled. Turning away from him and heading off down the beach. Jay let out the breath he'd been holding as he shivered at the edge of the fire.

00

Alex quickly made her way down the beach. She had no idea where she was going just that she needed to get away from the suffocating presences of Jay that was still lingering around her. She could still feel his lips on hers, still hear his voice as it guiltily called out her name, still smell the scent of his soap mixed with sweat and a faint underlying of motor oil. She quickened her pace as she wrapped her arms around her tighter, ignoring the pain that shot through her ribs. The further she got the stronger the smell was. She couldn't pull her thoughts together enough to realize it had little to do with Jay than the fact that she was wearing his sweatshirt. The further from the fire she got the further she snuggled into the soft cotton surrounding her and the smell that was invading her every function was coming from her only form of heat.


	7. The Morning After

"A little help?" Tyler requested, drawing Jay's attention away from where Alex had disappeared.

Jay rolled his eyes at the sight of Manny still dry heaving into the sand shrub. Tyler was kneeled down beside her, rubbing a hand up and down the girls back. Emma stood a short distance away, concern creasing the corners of her eyes and chasing the anger away temporarily. Jay sighed before making his way towards the group. He helped Tyler pull the brunette up off the sand, praying she wouldn't throw up on his shoes.

"I don't feel so good." Manny mumbled as the guys led her towards the parking lot. 

"Remember that the next time you decide to get wasted and ruin everyone's lives." Jay shot back.

"Back off." Tyler replied in defense of Manny. "You're the one that screwed up. She just blew the secret."

Emma heaved a sigh of irritation before stepping in, "Would you both just drop it? Tyler, you have no idea what happened. And Jay, now really isn't the time."

Emma stormed past the two boys, leaving them with their jaws dropped open. So much for the perfect peaceful weekend she'd been hoping for. Sean was mad at her, Alex was probably plotting 15 different ways to kill her, and while she wanted to be furious with Manny, she couldn't exactly blame it all on her. Hooking up with Jay had been her decision and hers alone. She was the one who hadn't bothered telling Sean. She was the one who decided to keep it a secret.

Emma leaned against the Civic and waited for the boys to join her. They were moving slowly, trying to balance Manny's weight between them as the three stumbled up the hill to the parking area. She pushed herself off the car as Jay reached into his pocket and tossed her the keys. She quickly unlocked the door and flipped the seat up. The boys eased Manny into the back seat so she could lie down, her head resting against the opposite window. Emma flipped the seat back into place before handing the keys back to Jay. She climbed into the passenger seat and started to pull the door shut when Jay stopped her.

"Your friend vomits in my car and you're cleaning it up." His tone was in all seriousness as he slammed the door shut and rounded the car to the driver's side. 

Emma gave Tyler a slight wave as the car pulled out of its parking spot and headed off towards Sean. Jay weaved through the streets of Wasaga, an eerie silence engulfing the Civic. Manny had drifted off to sleep and was snoring loudly in her drunken state. It was the only sound coming from the car, the only sound breaking the silence.

Back at Sean's, Jay carried Manny into the trailer, depositing her onto Sean's parent's bed. He rolled her over onto her side and put a bucket on the floor beside her. It brought back a flood of memories. How many times had he done that for Alex? How many times had she done that for him? After pulling the covers over the sleeping girl, he grabbed his duffle bag off the floor and headed out of the room.

"Where are you going?" Emma asked as Jay headed towards the door. She'd already searched the small home for Sean but he wasn't in any of the rooms. Her heart sank as she realized she had no idea where to even begin looking for him.

Jay shrugged, "I'm sure I can find a place to crash. I'll be back sometime tomorrow to take you guys back to T.O."

"Jay…" Emma started but it was too late. He already pushed his way through the front door. She heard the engine start and the car pull away from the house before she crumpled to the floor letting the tears fall freely.

00

Alex sat on the beach running her hands up and down her bare arms in an attempt to get warm. Jay's sweatshirt lay abandoned beside her. She'd taken it off when she'd realized where the smell was coming from. Her ribs were killing her from the hike down the beach and she'd left the bottle of painkillers back at Sean's. It was the last place she wanted to be, at Sean's, sharing a tiny trailer with both Jay and Emma. She'd rather freeze to death on the sand. And to think she'd been on the verge of forgiving Jay, on the verge of thinking maybe she'd been wrong about the nature freak. She'd been stupid, naïve and now she was paying for it.

Alex quickly swiped at the tear trailing its way down her cheek. She hated being weak, being vulnerable. She hated that Jay was the only one who had ever been able to make her feel that way. She let out an irritated cry before slowly pushing herself up off the sand. She grabbed Jay's sweatshirt and pulled it back on trying her hardest to ignore the smell as she made her way off the beach. She found the nearest pay phone and pulled some change out of her pocket as she silently prayed that her mom would answer.

00

Sean quietly made his way into the trailer as the sun began to peek out from behind the clouds. His head was pounding from the fifth of liquor he'd poured down his throat after Manny's little drunken confession. Every time he closed his eyes he saw Emma and Jay together. The image made him sick to his stomach. His Emma, so pure and sweet. How had she gotten tangled up with Jay, with the Ravine crowd?

"I'm sorry." Emma said, softly causing Sean to jerk around. The door he'd been easing shut slammed in the process. 

Sean quickly glanced away from Emma who was sitting on the floor, her back resting up against the couch. Her eyes were blood shot from crying, her skin pale. She looked so tiny, so small. It physically hurt to look at her. He tossed his keys onto the table beside the door and made his way to the kitchen, completely ignoring Emma's apology.

He was pulling a bottle of water out of the fridge when Emma appeared in the doorway, blocking his only way out. He sighed, grabbing the bottle of Tylenol his mother kept in the cabinet for her own hangovers and popping two of the tiny pills into his mouth. He chased it with the water, trying his hardest to ignore Emma's presence. It wasn't easy, it never had been. There was just something about her that demanded attention.

"You weren't there, Sean. You have no idea what it was like." Emma started, standing her ground. "You got to run away from the problem. I didn't. I had to go back. I had to face it everyday. People were walking on eggshells around me. I had to deal with the concerned looks, and hushed whispers. I had to walk by that hallway every day. I needed you and you weren't there."

"So you what? Turned to Jay?" Sean yelled. He took a deep breath lowering his voice before continuing, "You're so much better than that, Em. So much better than him."

Emma swallowed the lump in her throat. "He was the only one who wasn't treating me like I was going to break. He was the only one who made me feel…anything. I'm sorry you had to hear it from Manny and not from me but…" 

"But what?" Sean asked interrupting. "You think I came up here and it was like nothing ever happened? Jesus, Emma. I killed a guy. Every night I wake up in a cold sweat from nightmares, every night I stare down the barrel of that gun. Just because I'm not in Toronto doesn't mean that I'm not living with it every day. But I didn't randomly hook up with everything in a skirt either." 

"That's not fair." Emma replied, her voice small, soft, and barely above a whisper. "I made a mistake, Sean, one mistake with one person. I'm not perfect. I never claimed to be."

Sean sighed as the fatigue settled in and the weariness finally hit home. His adrenaline was wearing down quickly, causing his head to pound even more. He didn't want to fight about it. In fact, all he wanted to do was crawl into bed and forget the whole thing.

"You want me to pretend it didn't happen? Pretend that you didn't just rip my heart right out of my chest? I loved you, Em." Sean spoke, his voice tight and drained.

"And I love you Sean." Emma said, taking a step towards him.

Sean used the opening to his advantage as he squeezed past her and made his way out of the room. He hated being cornered. It was an inborn trait found in all the Cameron men. Anytime they'd enter a room, the first thing they'd look for would be all the exits. Being cornered in the tiny kitchen by Emma made him face the facts. The only reason she'd turned to Jay was because he wasn't there. He shouldn't have been mad at Emma or Jay, he should have been mad at himself. It was just easier to place the blame on someone else.

Sean made his way into the living room just as Alex stepped in the front door. It brought him to a stand still. He'd never seen Alex look so weak. Her eyes were dark from lack of sleep, her face scrunched in pain from who knew what. She looked completely unhinged and he realized for the first time he wasn't the only one the world had come crashing down on.

"You okay?" he asked with a little nod hello. 

"Peachy." She replied tightly as she shut the front door behind her. "I just came to get my stuff."

With that, Alex headed off down the hallway. She stopped in the doorway of Sean's parents' bedroom at the sight of Manny curled into a ball. Alex grinded her teeth against the memory from the night before as she made her way across the room and grabbed her bag. She reached into the side pocket and pulled out the bottle of pain killers, popping two pills into her mouth and swallowing them dry.

"You've been popping a lot of those this weekend." Sean's voice floated in from the doorway startling her.

Alex glared at him as she growled, "Mind your own business, Sean."

"Where are you going?" he asked.

Alex rounded the bed so she was face to face with Sean before answering, "Home. There's a bus ticket with my name on it waiting for me at the station. I'll be sure to tell Ellie you said hello."

Alex pushed her way past Sean. She was halfway down the hallway when she ran right smack into Emma. It was like a cat and mouse stand off. Emma, sullen with a look of fear and acceptance in her eyes. Alex, fierce poised for a fight. Her spine ridged, the hair on the back of her neck sticking straight up. It felt like an eternity passed between the two girls before Emma finally took a deep breath and spoke up.

"I'm sorry." Emma offered with complete sincerity and complete exhaustion.

Alex simply smirked and pushed past the blonde making her way out the front door. Her mother had wired her the money for a bus ticket and a cheap hotel. She'd lied awake all night staring up at a grimy ceiling, yellowed from cigarette smoke. She should have been used to getting the short end of the straw, used to life throwing her curve balls that knocked her on her ass. But she'd always had Jay to turn to. The fact that for the first time in her life she was completely alone scared the hell out of her.

00

Jay woke up to the sunlight streaming in through the tented window. He jerked up quickly, causing his head to slam against the roof of the car. He mumbled a few curses before climbing over the front seats and stumbling out the door. A piece of paper tucked under his windshield wiper caught his attention as it blew in the breeze. Jay rolled his eyes as he pulled the parking ticket out and shoved it into his pocket. It seemed the whole world was out to get him.

He stretched in attempt to work out the kink in his back as he yawned in the ocean air. The day was beautiful with the sun sitting high in the sky. The air gave off just enough breeze to chase away the sweat and make the heat bearable. It would have been a great day to sit on the beach, a great day for a game of volleyball or Frisbee. Jay cracked his neck and looked down at his watch. It was barely past noon, too early to go home. But what was he supposed to do to kill the time? 

00

Manny rolled over groaning as her stomach lurched with her. Her head was throbbing and her throat was on fire as she tried to remember what had caused her to feel this way. She'd gone to the beach for the bonfire, flirted with Tyler, one of his guy friends had given her lemonade…oh, yeah the lemonade. She thought it had tasted funny.

Manny eased herself up into a sitting position, putting her foot on the floor to steady herself. She paid little attention to the bucket she kicked over as the room continued to spin. She slowly looked around the room trying to figure out where she was. A framed picture on the wall of Sean and Tracker made her realize she was in Sean's parent's room. She tried to remember how she'd gotten there but she couldn't.

She ambled her way to the door, using the doorframe to hold herself up. She peeked out into the hallway but didn't see anyone. She made her way slowly down the hall and into the living room where Sean was laying on the couch, an arm thrown over his eyes. She couldn't help but wonder if he'd drank the lemonade too.

Manny bumped into the end table, nearly knocking over the lamp. The commotion caused Sean to sit up quickly, his eyes sunken and blood shot.

"Sorry." Manny mumbled, catching the lamp and steadying it.

"Don't worry about it." Sean replied, sinking back down onto the couch. He flung his arm back across his eyes before adding, "There's Tylenol on the kitchen counter. Take two and drink a couple glasses of water you'll feel fine in about an hour."

Manny offered him a weak smile despite the fact that he couldn't see it. "Thanks." she added as she headed towards the kitchen to heed his advice.

When she was finished taking the Tylenol, she carried her glass of water back down the hall towards Sean's bedroom. Emma was sitting on the floor unpacking and repacking her suitcase. Manny watched for a minute a smile turning up the corners of her mouth. Her friend was such a perfectionist. Manny cleared her throat as she walked behind Emma and sat down on the bed. That's when she noticed the tear streaks down her friends face and the black circles that made her look like death warmed over.

"Emma?" Manny asked in concern, drawing Emma's attention away from the folded clothes scattered around her. "What happened?"

"What happened?" Emma repeated in an eerily calm voice, her brown eyes darkening with frustration. "You got drunk and told Sean and Alex about the Ravine, about me and Jay hooking up."

Manny's own brown eyes grew in fear and shock as Emma's words rang in her ear. Her friends tears were because of her, because she'd made yet another mistake that had destroyed everyone's second chance weekend. 

"Em," Manny started with a shaky breath. "I…"

"I know." Emma said cutting her off. "Its not your fault. I should have told him. I shouldn't have been trying to keep it a secret." 

"Have you talked to him?" Manny asked and then as an after thought added, "Where's Jay and Alex?"

Emma sighed, giving up on her repacking as she haphazardly threw the rest of her clothes into the suitcase. She turned all the way around so she was facing Manny and hugged her knees to her chest.

"Jay left right after he dropped us off last night and Alex left for the bus station a couple of hours ago." Emma replied, resting her chin on top of her knees. "As for Sean, I've tried talking to him but he's too mad to listen. I really thought this weekend was the answer to all my problems but its just made things worse. I never should have come."

Manny slid off the bed onto the floor, wrapping her arms around Emma. Her stomach twisted with regret and blame. Things had been going so well and she ruined it. Manny made a promise to herself that she would fix things no matter what it took.


	8. Strings or No Strings

Manny stared up at the chipping paint on the living room ceiling. She could no longer hear Emma's sobbing over the sound of metal against metal that was drifting in through the opened front door. Sean had retreated to the garage in an attempt to take out his frustration on the beat up old car he and his dad had been bonding over. From the sound of it Manny couldn't help but think there'd be nothing left when he finished. 

With a sigh Manny pushed herself up on her elbows, turning her attention towards the door. She had to do something, anything to fix this mess she'd created. She had to make Sean understand, the sooner the better. With that in mind she stood and headed towards Sean's sanctuary.

She watched from the doorway as Sean leaned under the hood, twisting and turning things she couldn't have named even if she'd wanted to. His hands moved quickly, rhythmically, almost hypnotically only stopping occasionally to wipe grease onto the stained coveralls protecting his clothing.

"Watcha doin?" Manny asked, stepping further into the garage. She leaned over the side of the car, glancing over the mess of wires and gadgets Sean was fidgeting with. She had no idea what they did or how they worked together to make the car go and frankly she didn't really care.

Sean never took his attention away from his work as he nonchalantly replied, "Overhauling the engine. It's the only way this piece of crap will ever make it onto the road."

"Is it yours?" Manny asked, trying to ease into the conversation. She didn't really want to make Sean any angrier.

Sean's hands stilled under the hood of the car as he turned his attention towards Manny, he wasn't in the mood to play twenty questions. In fact he wasn't in the mood for talking period.

"What do you want, Manny?" he asked in irritation as he grabbed a clean rag and started to clean his hands.

"Um..." Manny started, swallowing the lump in her throat. "I kind of wanted to apologize about last night. It shouldn't have come out like that. I'm sorry."

"You're right, it shouldn't have." Sean replied, clenching his jaw against the anger surging through him. "But don't be sorry. If you hadn't told me I'm not entirely sure anyone else would have."

Manny shook her head no in response, "Emma would have told you, Sean. Eventually."

"That's not good enough." Sean interjected his voice raising a few octaves. "She should have told me months ago. I had every right to know." 

"No you didn't." Manny shot back defensively. "YOU left. What Emma, or Jay, or anyone else for that matter did after you were gone really isn't any of your business. He was the closest thing she had to you, Sean. I didn't understand it at first but getting close to Jay was her way of not having to completely say goodbye to you."

He knew she was right, that it all made sense but he didn't have to like it and he sure as hell didn't have to admit it.

"It doesn't make it okay." Sean spit out before picking up his wrench and adding, "Now if you don't mind I've got work to do."

Manny made her way out of the garage. Sean was stubborn but deep down inside she knew he'd let it go eventually. Eventually he'd be able to understand, to look past it and realize that despite her imperfections he still loved Emma. She just hoped he wouldn't wait until it was too late. If anyone deserved to be happy it was those two.

"How are you feeling?" A voice asked, pulling Manny away from her best friend's drama. She looked up to see Tyler walking towards her, a smile lighting up his tan face.

She couldn't help but smile. He'd been the one bright point in the whole stupid weekend. With a sigh she replied, "Like I've been hit by a bus."

His smile grew as he chuckled slightly, "A hangover will do that to you." 

"I wish that was it." Manny continued. "A hangover I could handle. Feeling like I've completely destroyed my best friend's life, not so easy to live with."

"Don't be so hard on yourself." Tyler offered, stopping once he'd reached Manny. "I'm sure it's not that bad."

Manny snorted, "It is, believe me. Emma's upset, Sean's angry, Alex bailed, and Jay…well he's M.I.A."

A loud clanging came from the direction of the garage followed by a line of curses punctuating Sean's anger. Manny tore her eyes away from the commotion to look back up at Tyler.

"See? Angry." Manny added.

Tyler snickered as he turned back to Manny and suggested, "Why don't we get out of here for a little while? Maybe grab some lunch." 

Manny's smile grew at the offer. She desperately needed to get away from the drama for a little while, collect her thoughts. The fact that it was a cute boy offering didn't hurt any.

"I'd love to." Manny replied.

00

It was an average day, dull in every way  
Until, until the sun broke through.  
It wasn't in the sky, no  
The light came from her eyes  
She turned, turned the grey sky blue.  
On that cold September morning   
I saw her in the rain.  
To me she was the moon and stars the world  
She was

Just Jane.  
But she's everything to me, she is just Jane.  
And she's all I'll ever need.  
She gives more than she takes  
And she takes my breath away.  
Yeah in the words I should always be just Jane  
But because of her, my world has changed  
Oh yeah

The lyrics to an old familiar song stopped Sean in mid twist of the wrench. Blonde curls held back with springs of Babies Breath, porcelain skin glowing in the afternoon sunlight, soft lips that tasted like berry punch and white frosting, the smell of honey and the feel of sweaty palms as they swayed to the same beat.

Before Sean had time to stop himself he sent the wrench flying across the room. It collided with the eighties style boom box sitting on a shelf on the other side of the garage cutting the song short. He tried breathing out his anger through his nose as he closed his eyes to the memory but he could still see her, still smell her, still taste her.

"Uh…it's a slow song and you're not dancing."

"No one really caught my interest."

"Oh...How about now?"

"I'd love to."

Sean took a deep breath as the memory came to an end behind his closed eyelids and his breathing began to return to normal. It had been that girl in her purple bridesmaid dress and really bad perm that he'd put up on a pedestal. It had been that girl that he'd painted as perfect. He knew it wasn't fair, not to her, not to him, not to anyone but in his eyes that's the girl she'd always be. Emma Nelson, environmentalist, a babysitter, a nurse. He'd told her once in anger making it sound negative and hateful but it had been the Cause Girl part of her that he'd fallen in love with. It was the fact that she cared that had made him care. 

He shook the thoughts from his head as he slipped out of the grease-stained coveralls and made his way towards the trailer. He needed a long hot shower or possibly a cold one he wasn't sure. 

Sean eased the front door open, hoping not to draw any attention to himself. There was no sign of Emma or Manny as he headed down the hallway towards his bedroom. The sight of Emma lying on the bottom bunk, her face stained with tears caused him to stop in his tracks. He took a deep breath before moving further into the room only stopping again at the sound of the floorboards creaking under his feet.

"No," she whimpered as fresh tears made their way down her cheek.

It was then that Sean noticed her body was trembling. Her fingers gripped the blankets in a clenched fist. A line of sweat had popped out along her forehead, matting her hair to her skin. It only took his brain a second before he was back in that hallway, standing in front of Emma with a gun pointed at them. He knew what the nightmares felt like, how the memories ate at you like a flesh eating virus. He knew without hesitation that at that very moment Rick was haunting Emma's dreams. The white knight in him wanted to save her, wanted to wake her up and rescue her from the demons but his anger kept him glued to his spot. All he could do was watch as her head moved from side to side and she mumbled his name. 

Sean back peddled quickly not even bothering to grab fresh clothes. Suddenly the trailer was smaller then it had ever been before. He felt like the walls were closing in on him as he backed down the hallway and slammed his way out the front door.

00 

Jay slid his sunglasses from the top of his head to rest on the bridge of his nose. He leaned back against the windshield ignoring the heat that was seeping through his jeans from the hood of the car. His skin itched from the onset of a sunburn and sweat had already begun to stain the armpits of his t-shirt.

Eventually he'd have to go back to Sean's, he knew that. But he was putting it off as long as he could, hoping it would give Alex enough time to calm down. Maybe for once he'd get lucky and she'd hear him out. 

He swiped the back of his hand across his forehead before reaching for the bottle of water sitting beside him. He thought about dumping the cool liquid over his head but pressed the bottle to his lips instead. The temperature had steadily risen leaving a muggy haze over the beach. Jay desperately wanted something a lot stronger than water but knew the two hour drive would be long enough without being under the influence.

"Hey," A soft voice said, drawing Jay's attention away from the oppressing heat.

Jay looked at the girl from overtop his sunglasses. She was cute, petite, blonde, everything Jay would have found attractive if his mind wasn't elsewhere. He really wasn't in the mood for a conversation especially one with a complete stranger.

"Yeah?" Jay asked in annoyance.

The girl inched forward completely ignoring Jay's tone, "You're friends with Sean, right? You were at the bonfire last night?"

"And?" Jay replied sitting up and turning to face the girl. She was either stupid or completely clueless.

The girl cocked her eyebrow as she finally caught on to Jay's bad mood. A seductive smile formed on the girl's lips as she locked her green eyes on to Jay's blue ones.

"And I thought if you're not doing anything we could go back to my place. You know, hang out?" She suggested, folding her arms across her chest and giving Jay a full view down her shirt.

He thought about it for a moment as he looked her over again. Flip flops revealing bright pink nail polish, short shorts showing off tan legs, a belly button ring peaking out from under the spaghetti strapped tank top. Any other day and he'd have jumped at the chance.

"I'll pass." Jay replied, sliding off the hood of his car and stepping around the girl.

"Are you serious?" She asked following Jay onto the beach. "I offer you a no strings attached booty call and you say no? Are you gay?"

Jay stopped turning to the girl who was mere inches away. He leaned down like he was going to kiss her. He rested his lips right beside her ear as he whispered, "No, just not interested."

With a smug smile he turned back around and headed off down the beach leaving the blonde to pout in privacy.

00

Alex made her way out of the crowded bus station slinging her bag over her shoulder. Her head was killing her from the brat in the back of the bus that had decided to scream the entire trip. She'd taken her last painkiller over an hour ago and it was already starting to wear off. She quickly made her way the few blocks to the diner her mother was working at. It was a greasy little joint in a bad part of town but it was the only thing a high school drop out raising a teenaged daughter could get. Half the time Alex hated her mom, the other half she felt sorry for her. It wasn't that Emily didn't try, she did. It was just sometimes she tried a little too hard. Sometimes Alex wanted a mother, not a best friend. 

"You're mom's the coolest." Amy use to gush all the time. "I wish she were my mom."

"So do I." Alex had always thought.

It had its advantages. Alex had never had a curfew, she was allowed to have friends over whenever she wanted, she could openly talk to her mother about sex, and Jay had always been able to stay the night in her room. But sometimes she would have liked to have had a shoulder to cry on, a comforting word or hug, some parental guidance especially when it came to Jay.

After she'd found out about the Ravine, about Amy, she'd turned to her mother in hopes of some advice, some support but all she got was, "Don't fret babe there's plenty of fish in the sea."

Like the abusive asshole her mother had met at the strip club when she'd went out with friends, or the bus driver who had stolen their rainy day fund from the freezer, and lets not forget the mechanic who had promised to fix the car if he could crash on the couch. Needless to say the car still didn't run right. Sure there were plenty of fish in the sea but the good ones were already taken.

"There's my baby." Emily said as Alex walked into the diner and slumped down at the bar. "Don't look so glum. You and Jay will work things out."

Alex forced her self not to roll her eyes at her mother's optimism. It was obvious to Alex that her mother was completely stoned.

"Don't hold your breath." Alex replied dryly as her mother sat a slice of chocolate pie in front of her.

"What you need is a night on the town. Why don't you call up some of your girlfriends and go out. Have a little fun, Lexie. You're only young once." Emily suggested as she rang up a customer on the outdated cash register.

This time Alex didn't even bother holding back her eye roll, "News flash, ma. I don't have any girlfriends."

"And whose fault is that sourpuss?" Emily asked coming and sitting down beside Alex. The older woman picked up a fork and dug it into the untouched pie in front of her daughter. After taking a bite and savoring it she added, "You know I ran into Amy at the store this morning. She asked about you."

"About me or about my boyfriend?" Alex shot back picking up her own fork and finally digging into the pie in front of her.

Emily swallowed the bite she'd just taking before she set a hand on Alex's shoulder and explained, "Hoes before bros, Lexie baby."

She'd heard it before. Emily's aged old advice but it didn't make the betrayal sting any less her best friend and her boyfriend and now her boyfriend and her worst enemy. There was something almost fitting about being screwed by the people you loved and hated the most.

They didn't speak again until the pie was finished. Alex set her fork down and studied her mother who was in the process of finishing off a cigarette. She looked older than she really was from too many years of struggling to make it by. Her skin was taunt and yellowed from too many drugs and too much alcohol. It was a life Alex didn't want for herself, a life she'd do anything to escape.

"I better get back to work." Emily finally spoke stamping out her cigarette and giving Alex a quick kiss on the cheek. "I'll see you back at home."

Alex nodded, picking up her bag and laying a couple bills on the counter so the slice of pie wouldn't come out of her mother's paycheck. With a final fleeting look at her mother she picked up her bag and headed out of the diner. Her mother had been right about one thing. Alex desperately needed a little bit of fun.


End file.
